2023 – Have you been doing too much?

At the start of the year – did you have lofty goas for the year ahead?

Did it seem like the world is your oyster and that it was going to be a productive year?

Planning to lose 5kg? Being more flexible? learn a new language? Catch up with old friends.

We all have these goals – yet come April 2023 and we are no where near closer to achieving some of them.

I had the goal of earning a second income – this has been ongoing for about 5 years now. To date I have earned zero, nada. I have learnt what not to do when achieving this goal.

Where did i go wrong? I focused on too much around me, diverting my critical attention away. I did this by getting happy feelings from those around me, eating and concentrating on what food to cook or eat, mindlessly walking around the shopping centre aisles to decide what i needed to buy.

The key that i have learnt is to have one focus – that one focus is all encompasing for you. The aim is not the goal – but the time spent on achieving this one focus that you have.

In the morning – DO NOT READ your latest twitter feed, or visit news.com, or scroll through your tik tok.

WRITE DOWN the focus for today and go about grabbing with two hands. No incoming media use in the first hour of rising (Huberman) and then work on the creative juices.

Don’t worry about efficiency and worry about output

I have always thought that being efficient was the way to go for planning my faily schedule, it is only recently that I have come to discover a better way to do it.

We want to look at what you have accomplished during the week rather than how efficient you made everything. Why care about saving your commute if at the end of the week you didn’t write any stories or blog posts.

From now on I don’t worry about if this is the most efficient way of doing it – I just think – what do I have to get done today! Whats needed to be done this week so that I can achieve my goals.

Like a sniper looks through his sights, this aligns your goals for the week!

Heading nowhere to your goals

Did you set lofty goals at the beginning of this year?

And did you forget about them and now realise it is already October again – this time 2022?

Don’t worry – let’s start again next year in 2023?

You are falling into the trap that keeps you the same every year.

Start on your goals tomorrow!

I will tell you how in my post tomorrow – so stay tuned!

What i learned from the great book thinking in bets

After reading this book I have noted some mental models or techniques that help you in your decision making

Keeping the door ajar (90% certainty of your beliefs).

Leaving some doubt so that the idea or action can be discussed. If we invert this idea, the likelihood that you are 100% correct 100% of the time is 0. It is irrational to belive that you are 100% correct so why are we so certain of all the choices that we make?

Ulysses contract (be proactive)

A Ulysses pact or Ulysses contract is a freely made decision that is designed and intended to bind oneself in the future. … The term refers to the pact that Ulysses (Greek name Ὀδυσσεύς, Odysseus) made with his men as they approached the Sirens – He tied himself to the mast so he could avoid the beautiful song of the sirens.

10 minutes – 10 hours – 10 years (first order/ second order effects)

Put your position out from where you stand and thinking about the impacts or likelihoods then

back casting (beginning with the end in mind)

If we put ourselves in the final position and look back, do you think of how naive we were for the original idea?

pre mortem (ante)

instead of a post mortem – conduct a premorterm to determine what you have and why you have made these decisions. this will allow you to review and adjust your decision making with the benefit of hindsight.

Related books

• thinking win- win. Story about battling with your partners. Losses of serotonin when someone ‘loses’. Change the frame
• Sharpen the saw (cointunous improvement – habits book)

Visual Intelligence – sharpen your perception

A few cliff notes that i remember about the book

• When we describe a scene, we should aim to be thorough and use objective language and not leading (subjective). For example, when looking at a picture of a older lady and baby, we should not jump to the conclusion that she is the baby’s mother. We simply do not have enough information to reach this conclusion. This is similar concept of being more rational (limiting your language to more discrete descriptions).
• When we look at a painting, the interesting thing is not the painting itself, but our life experiences affecting how we describe the painting. For example, a dentist will tend to look at a peron’s tooth first, a doctor look for medical signals and an architect will admire the background. This is what is interesting about paintings beause it creates discussions from the alternative viewpoints created by people’s life experiences.
• The perceiving eye vs the observing eye. When we look at an item we see it and recognise for what it is. We make a decision on this item in a snapshot (honed in from our forefathers – lest we get eaten by bears). We do not have the luxury of time to take a step back to really understand what is happening and examine our first impressions. So understand your first impressions and examine their weighting regiously. Take a step back and use our perceiving eye.
• So really we should consider it in two-fold action. We can perceive and try to fit within our existing mental models, but we should also describe only what is happening and to free our mind from jumping to conclusions.
• This is the next level and you can really see the problems created by using particular language. You are there to sell and enforce your language set and have the person react to this new language system.
• When using the perceiving eye, it pays to turn your head and not be target focused and only look at one thing. We should observe the communiation /language that leaks from the body. Touch is something small and can be perceived greatly by a women because you are invading her persona space. Something that does not happen daily. We are separated from our connection with the physical word – focusing on the experience of our minds
• Understand that things are different from another angle. If you control frame or tackle the problem from the side this is enough to break down any resistance or to apply force from another angle. Just like in bjj – there is only resistance on one side. And you can try to overpower on the one side or seek another path which is easier. To complain that they are ‘too strong’ releases you have the onus to seek another solution/path. Take a step back and revaluate your choices and actions.

My takeaways:

• Guard the language that I use and recognise my first impressions and provide weighting accordingly
• Keep my thoughts in the present and actually listen to what the person has to say
• Don’t get caught up in my thoughts and use my perceiving eye

Don’t return to old habits

As always – i need to try and fail. If i don’t risk it then there is no gain.

Do i want to leave my life in fear of losing?

No, I want to seek the gain.

It is irrational to think too far ahead and try not to be rejected.

How can I make a decision for her if I don’t even know what she wants?

That is irrational and is not the right decision making tree.

Remember to meditate and work through it…

3 imagery visualisation techniques i used to supercharge my life

1/ Imagining the finer details. Say you had a thought about chocolate. If you quickly dismiss the idea – it quickly gets forgotten. But say you start imaging the finer details of the cake. It served on a white plate, perfectly cut, with a nice crisp top layer of icing, the waif of choclate in the air. Then you will definitely start to crave Chocolate cake.

This can be used as mental rehearsal focusing on the specific stages and correct technique. A trampolinist may mentally rehearse a backward somersault before performing the move.

2/ Repeating true statements Rather than focusing on what you are good at, repeat statements that you know are true. This is chunking it down and giving you a leg to stand on. For example “I am enough”, “there is something i want to tell her”, etc

3/ Imagining picture the successul situation as a result of your performance. You are imagining the specific details that change your belief and inspire you to perform. Through imagery, the performer may recreate a good past performance or may ‘make up’ a positive new experience, for example before taking a penalty a footballer might picture the ball hitting the back of the net

Make the most of the gym – What you can do in between sets

I usually spend 1.5hrs at the gym per session, over 3 sessions that equates to 4.5hrs. And this as a make up of your free time works out to be 20%.

The actually period of lifting weights will be half that time 45 mins and the rest cumaltively will be of resting.

So there is an opportunity to use 70% of that 45 minutes of resting time for something productive.

The current habit is to finish the set and then wait or think of what could be done better. What should be done is the current set finish and think of technique (if needed) and then do some activity that requires 2-3 minutes.

These activities could be

1. Recording your set on the phone
2. Read a page our of a book on your phone
3. Planning your calendar
4. Do some external rotations on the band

To maximise efficiency we should have a timer set at 2mins to create consistent rests. This will allow us to familiarise ourselves with recovery times and also provide structure

2 tips to help you save time by making quicker decisions

Intro

We waste alot of our time and mental effort worrying about things that we cannot change or that are small and insignficant in our life path.

Which shirt to choose, do people think we’re good enough, does she likes me, or how to solve this problem.

We need to realise that not all decisions are the same and are of equal weight. Some decisions are life changers and should have a great deal of time, whilst others are insignificant and should be done over quick.

Eg. Buying a house ($1 mil) should not be a 2hr decision, when you take 20 minutes to buy a shirt ($50). The cost to time ratio is out of proportion. Buying that house should be longer and the shirt quicker.

Body

Two ways which I am using which i will share with you is:

1/ Reframe the problem

Is this a priority? Compare it to the greater scheme. Life is too short. This scene in VCB shows Javier Bardem using this technique to reduce the reluctance of Christina to come. Life IS short so why not, or for Gen Z YOLO.

2/ Can you change it and what is the impact on your life?

You watch the news, and have long heated discussion about politics with your friends. And whilst is good to find like-minded people, your discussion will not lead to further actions. What was the point? Waste of time

We spend countless hours worrying about this/that and what other people think. You have no control over that. The archetype of confident man is one who does whatever he wants and lets other people react. To be antifragile is to learn how to respond to peoples reactions.

It is easier to follow your principles then worry about your micro decisions daily. You are one who is not afraid to do what he wants (within boundary) and can take what he wants.

Occasions where this occurs

• Crafting the best replies  (eg women, contracts). I am not in charge of the other persons reaction so i am more antifragile if i learn to respond to their reactions.
• What other people think if I do this (call and ask, ask to do this). Same as above.
• Trying to convince people who are comfortable (Life is too short – what is the point of educating someone who does not need it, how does this benefit me if this persons offers nothing in return)

Conclusion

Use these two tips to save time making decisions and have more fun time. There is a diminishing return for the same decision making and this should be avoided.